Can't Let Go
by PaSsIoNaTeDrEaMer
Summary: Kinda AUFrom the beginning MereDer in MY world. Starting from their earlier life. Enjoy!
1. The Reunion

I dont own it, wish I did. This just came to me as I was writing "Grace" and I wanted to get it on paper before the thought disappeared. I honestly dont know WHERE I'm going with it, so bear with me and I will update as soon as I can! Please remember, the more reviews I get, the faster I update. They motivate me. Enjoy!

_In my reality, Addison never existed. In my reality, well, nothing that was originally on GA happened. Im starting from the beginning. Im writing my OWN side of the story. Read on..._

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The Reunion

Her POV:

She was from a town with less than 2000 people. She grew up an only child. Her mother wasn't around much. She was a surgeon you know. She practially raised herself. Her father left when she was just around 5 years old. He had never looked back. She didn't even remember much about him. Here she was, this small time girl, standing in front of SGH preparing for her very first day as a surgical intern.

Who would have thought she would make it this far. She was not one who had much faith in herself. She had made so many mistakes along the way only to be hurt in the end. Her choices were not always bad, though. She had made one good choice. Then, as usual, something bad happened. Something always happened to her when her life seemed as though it was on track. Of course, she thought becoming a surgeon, saving peoples lives, would help her turn her own life around. Little did she know, her past was about to come back and haunt her.

She was standing in the OR. The chief was talking with them about the internship. She focused all of her attention on what he was saying. She was finally going to start fresh. Sterile. Just like the tools on the table beside her. Everything in her past was just that: Her past. At least that's what she thought.

There he was. Standing less than 15 feet from her. The one good thing she had ever had in her life. The only person who offered stability, friendship, but most of all, love.

He hadn't changed. His hair was still dark and wavy. His eyes still icy blue. His dimples, oh the dimples that made her melt. Yep, they were still there. She felt her legs begin to give out from underneath her. Before she knew it, he was catching her from her free fall.

HIS POV:

He didn't recognize her right away. She had changed her hair, it was longer too. When she smiled is when he knew it was her. He stepped back, his heart began to break again. There she was. Less than a foot from her. Smiling at him. The smile that stole his heart. She had leaft him though. For no good reason. One night, she decided that things would work out better if they just went their seperate ways. No explanation, no reasoning. It was the night part of him died inside.

He had never stopped loving her. Sure, he had dated others, but none of them had compared to her. She was his dream, she was the one person who would make him happy for the rest of his life. They had been together over six years when she left. Maybe it was due to the fact that she wasn't used to the stability. Maybe she was afraid she would get hurt. Maybe she just wanted to live a little while she was still young. He didn't know. She never gave him the chance to ask.

The night things ended, he got drunk. He went to her house afterwards, with roses, lillies, and any other flower he could find. He pounded on the door, begging for her to talk with him. She refused. Her friends wouldn't answer the door. They insisted she was better of without him, though he had never hurt her. Never caused her pain. Always held her close when she would breakdown from being lonely. He had no idea why this was happening, and now, now she was in front of him again. Smiling at him. His heart still skipped a beat when she smiled at him.


	2. The Meeting

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! LOVED EM!**

_This chapter is short. Kind of an intro of their first meeting. Enjoy!_

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Their meeting was accidental. She was hanging out with her friends and he showed up. He was older than her, by about 6 years. She noticed him right away. The dark hair, the gorgeous eyes, the dimples. She didn't say anything to him, continued to talk with her friends. He watched her as she talked. So much energy in her voice. So much emotion. He admired the way she went on about her story, waving her hands and lighting up at the explosive points to add drama. He couldn't resist her anymore. He spoke up.

"Can't you say hello to me?" He smiled as he spoke to her. She suddenly stopped telling her story and looked at him. Their eyes locked. They were transfixed in one another as if they were the only two beings that existed. She returned his smile, still staring deep into his eyes. There was a familiarity with him. She felt the instant connection the minute their eyes locked. She knew he was the one. The one she has been searching for. The one to protect her. The one who she would spend the rest of her life with.

Slowly, she stood. She walked his way, ignoring the pleas of her friends to finish her story. She extended her hand. "Hi, I'm Meredith. And you are?" Her smile was intoxicating. Her hair was brilliant. She smelled of an exotic flower. She was the image of an angel standing right in front of him. Her voice took his breath away.

"Derek," he replied with a smile. She noticed the twinkle in his eyes when he smiled. The warmth of his hand as it sent tingles down her spine. She stared deep into his eyes, trying ever so hard to read his mind.

Together, as they stood staring at one another, they world suddenly made sense. The comfort, the reassurance, the way they fit together. At first sight, both knew they were soulmates.

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	3. The Date

dont own it wish i did!

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Their first date was accidental too. Coincedence maybe. She had been asked on a date by her friend Scott. He was a nice guy. Treated her good and was the best friend she could ask for. Scott, on the other hand, was secretly in love with Meredith. Tonight was going to be the night he confessed his love for her hoping she would return the feeling.

They arrived at the party, and he walked off to get a beer. She grabbed the tequila from the front seat of his truck and popped the top. She took a drink. The bonfire in front of her was blazing. She stood, staring at the flames burning, thinking about how she too was burning inside. She had felt so alone her entire life up until that afternoon. She had met Derek. He ignited something inside of her that she never knew existed. Suddenly, as if a magical force changed the winds, she saw a shadow walking toward her.

"Hey stranger, drinking alone tonight?" He asked her. She blushed at him, trying to come back with a smartass comment, but words failed her. He looked amazing. Torn jeans, rugby shirt, his hair touseled like he had just woken up. He looked incredibly sexy standing in front of the fire, as the ash began to land on his head, he looked at her, "I think we should move before we catch on fire." He was laughing as he reached for her hand.

There it was, the fire, the tingle, the feeling she got earlier that day. His touch. She followed him away from the fire. He sat down on a cooler. He motioned for her to sit on his knee. Normally, she would have hesitated, but with Derek, she trusted him. She sat down and he touched her face. This was about the time Scott walked up.

He saw how Meredith looked at him. He saw how Derek looked at Meredith. His heart fell, and he walked away. He had waited too long. He had lost her. Instead of causing a scene, he decided it best to just leave. He never said a word to her about it. He never even told her goodbye.

Meredith and Derek spent the evening laughing and getting to know one another. It wasn't necessary though. They seemed to be in sync with everything they talked about and did. Meredith looked at her watch and noticed it was almost 2am. She looked around the now dying party, trying to spot Scott. She didn't see him. She looked to where his truck was parked. It was gone.

"Shit." She mumbled as she stood up. Derek looked at her questionably. "He left me. He freakin left me. He's supposed to be my best friend. What the hell kind of friend just leaves you stranded at a party without saying goodbye!" Meredith was pissed off. Derek reached for her hand.

"I can take you." Him and that smile. It melted her from the inside out. She quickly agreed and hopped into his car. The ride home was silent, but not an uncomfortable silent. More like a content silent. They knew they didn't have to speak a word to one another to understand.

They pulled up to Meredith's door, Derek walked around and opened her door for her. Such a gentlemen, she thought and smiled to herself. He then escorted her to the door. "I had a wonderful time meeting you Meredith. Maybe we can do it again sometime." He leaned over, kissed her cheek, and with that, he turned, walked back to his car, and was gone.

Meredith floated to her room that night. She had met her prince. The man of her dreams. Shit, she thought. He didn't have her number. Way to go Mere, you did it again. Found something worth holding on to and forgot to tell him how to get in touch. Damnit.


	4. The Accident

Still down own it.

I like the short chapters in this fic, short and to the point. Please Review! Enjoy!

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The phone was ringing. Damnit, Meredith thought. I just went to bed. She looked at the clock. 4:13 am . Who the hell is calling me this early? She looked at the caller ID. Scott. She was still pissed at Scott. She ignored the call and laid her head back down. The phone finally stopped ringing. Finally. She had just drifted back to sleep when it rang again. She grabbed the phone and without looking at it answered, "Damnit Scott! How could you leave me tonight? HUH? What kind of friend are you? You knew you were my ride and you left. You just LEFT!" She was yelling now. The other end of the line was quiet.

"I'm sorry. Meredith I need to tell you something." He began. "I asked you to the party tonight for a reason." She sat impatiently on the side of her bed, listening to him talk. She had noticed the fear in his voice. The shakiness. He was not talking like Scott. "Mere, we have been friends for what, ten years? I only called for one reason. Mere, that reason is because I've been in lo..."CRASH!!!!! The phone went dead..

Shocked, she sat there listening at the dialtone. Did that just happen? She dialed his number back as fast as she could. "We're sorry but the wireless customer you are calling is unavailable. Please try again later." "Damnit!" she yelled as she threw the phone at the wall. She jumped up, grabbed her coat and ran out the door headed for Scott's house.

Along the way, she saw lights. Flashing ones. Lots of them. Then, she saw it. The scene of the crash. The reason Scott's phone died. She slowed down to survey the situation. She threw her car in park and ran toward the truck. The truck she had been in earlier that night with Scott. An officer blocked her way, "Where are you goin miss? You can't go over there. It's not pretty." She looked at him with tearfilled eyes.

"Thats my best friend," she sobbed. "I was on the phone with him, when , when, when..." she started to break down. The officer sat her down and began to console her. She continued to cry as she noticed the gurney coming toward her, the body covered from head to toe. She knew what this meant. Scott was gone. "Noooooooooo..." she screamed as they passed by her. That was the last thing she remembered before passing out.

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	5. Realization

Don't own it, wish i did

Moment between Mere/Der

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Meredith opened her eyes. It was bright. She looked around. IV bag. Monitors. Beeping. She was in the hospital. Suddenly, her thoughts caught up with her as she remembered what had happened the following night. Scott. The Accident. He was gone. She began to sob as the memories rushed back to her. Suddlenly, she stopped, remembering what he had said before they were disconnected. He said he was in "lo". Did he mean love? Was Scott telling her he loved her? The more she thought about it, the more believable it was. He was always there for her. He was always protecting her. He was always the one to stand up for her. Had she been so blind as to not see it until too late? It appeared to be that way. She cried harder as she heard a knock on the door.

"How are you?" He asked, his concern filling the room. She smiled. "I heard what happened, Mere, are you okay?" She nodded, grateful he had found her. She needed strength and he would be the one to give it to her.

"Derek?" Her tears looked like they would never stop falling. He reached over and brushed them away with his thumb. "I was on the phone with him when it happened. He was, too worried about apologizing to me to be..." she trailed off and began to cry harder. "It's just that, I should have been with him." She took her gaze from her hands to his face. He saw the pain she was feeling. He felt the pain in his heart. Even if he had only known her a day, he felt her, he knew her.

"Shhhh," he whispered as he took her into his arms. "Don't think like that. It was not your fault, and thankfully, you were with me. You were not with him for a reason sweetie, it was meant to be like this." He stroked her hair, which still smelled like an exotic flower with a little bonfire and tequila mixed in. He smiled at the memory.

"How am I going to survive without Scott, Derek? He was my best friend. He was the one I ran to with all my problems. I just don't know how I can go on knowing that he lo..." She stopped. She hadn't told Derek what Scott had said. She figured he had a right to know though. "Derek, Scott was telling me he was in love with me when I heard the crash. He never said it fully, but he said , 'Meredith, I'm in lo...' then the phone went dead."

He held her closer. "Mere, I can understand why he would be in love with you. You're an amazing person and even I know that after a day. As for what you will do without him. You are free to come to me. I'll be here for you. I'll do my best to keep you safe. I promise you Meredith, I will never hurt you. Trust me oK?"

He hadn't noticed, but Meredith had fallen asleep in his arms. She had a half smile on her face. He sighed thinking he had at least helped her temorarily forget her problems. Now, Derek thought, how would he help her through this.

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